A study released by Le Meridien hotel Group has discovered that 53 per cent of its guests favoured coffee over sex as the perfect way to start the day. And I concur…even though I don’t drink coffee.
For, here’s the thing. It’s not that I don’t like sex. I do. In fact some times I like it so much that I do it more than once a month. And I really like it if I am away on holidays with a built in Nanny, maid and chef at my disposal, and there’s nothing more stressful on my mind than deciding what cocktail to drink next. But, the sad fact remains that, since becoming a parent my sex life is not a priority.
For starters, my bedroom is my only sanctuary, and represents pretty much the only place in the whole house that is free from child like reminders. Sure, there is usually the odd matchbox car that I might trip over and almost break my neck on en route to bed, and there is usually some kind of fluffy animal awaiting my feet’s arrival under destination blanket. But still, the fact remains that it is a room where I can close the door and, for some time at least, be BY MYSELF, and, most importantly, sleeeeeeeep.
And, as a parent, sleep remains, without doubt, the most important priority to me, sadly meaning that bed is no longer associated with nocturnal activities of a sexual nature, but instead beckons to me longingly from about 7pm, welcoming me to lay my head down and close my eyes in preparation for another day.
I guess it is kind of sad that the days of the bedroom being a room for all manner of passion and sexual antics, where lacy underwear and a sexy negligee made a regular appearance, are now gone. But is that not reality, not only as an adult in a long-term relationship or marriage, but most definitely as a parent?
I often wonder if I am alone in this, and worry that perhaps I should make more effort. But, the truth of the matter is, it is just that…an effort.
And it’s not because I don’t love my husband, and nor is it because I have a burning desire to reveal my saggy boobs and cellulite ridden thighs to another stranger. Far from it! It purely and simply comes down to the fact that life is just tiring, and being a full time Mum is, whilst rewarding, also exhausting. In fact it’s all I can do at the end of some days to just about make it into bed without collapsing, let alone think about squeezing myself into something sexy and sticking matchsticks in my ‘come to bedroom’ eyes in order to stay awake.
Maybe things will change as my son gets older. I don’t know. But, in the meantime, both me and my husband will have to just accept that the bedroom is the one place where the only thing getting snuggled is my flannelette pyjamas, the only thing getting caressed is my face with the latest anti wrinkle miracle cream, and the only thing getting gently embraced with my hands is a cup of tea and a good book.