Not for beating my husband, (I save that for night time when no one can see) and not, surprisingly, for shouting at the dog in a manic fashion. But because of something that, in reality is so innocent, yet sounds so wrong when the context is not known!
It all started about a week ago when I made a purchase of one of my all time favourite things at the grocery store. They were on special and, despite being on ANOTHER diet, I just couldn’t help myself. So, it was, that I returned home to fill the fridge up with small ‘fun’ size bags of maltesers…well, it’s all fun until they are finished at least.
Of course, it was only a matter of time before Mr T was on the case as nothing escapes his beady little eyes these days, especially if it looks like it might be something that I may, potentially, dare to try and enjoy without him. So, after pulling open the fridge and scouring the contents a couple of times, his eyes came to rest on my treasure…i think he knew I was up to something when I was discreetly trying to unpack the groceries without him seeing!
Almost immediately of course I was met with questions of ‘What’s those?’, to which I tried to act deaf, followed by ‘I wanna see them’, and, inevitably, “I wanna try them”. This went on relentlessly until he wore me down so much so that I gave in, and let him have some….BIG MISTAKE!! He is now like an addict and EVERY possible reason is being flung out on a daily basis as to why he needs his fix.
This in itself isn’t necessarily a problem as, ultimately, I have control over his eating habits. What is a problem however, is the fact that, unfortunately, it would appear that the word Maltesers is somewhat hard to master and so, in place of this, Mr T has taken to calling them his ‘chocolate balls’. This, therefore, brings me back to my aforementioned point about people walking past the house potentially being disturbed by the little boy inside who may well be shouting any of the below, depending on the situation;
He hurts himself – ‘sucking on my chocolate balls makes me feel better’
He is a good boy – ‘good boys get to suck on chocolate balls’
He is expressing his happiness – ‘I love sucking on my chocolate balls’
He hasn’t had any for at least an hour – ‘I need to suck on my chocolate balls…I miss them’
When the dog tries to sneak a taste – ‘Don’t lick my chocolate balls!!! They are mine!”
Can you see my problem?