It’s official!! Man flu has arrived! Halt the press and stop the world….I think it’s about now that I want to get off! Ok, I will be fair in saying that Mr H is actually genuinely quite sick. He looks like crap and even Mr T peered at him with concern this morning as he groaned and snuffled in bed, but, honestly, what is it about men and their inability to cope once sickness knocks on their door? Take last night for example when he arrived home to announce his sickness. Honestly, if I hadn’t of known any better, I would have almost been tempted to start looking for his backpack, convinced, by looking at him, that he had just arrived back from fighting 18 months on the frontline in Afghanistan, not merely just a rough day at the office followed by a 5 minute train ride.
It’s the facial expressions I think that really do it though isn’t it? Have you noticed how they look constantly pained when they are sick? And how they almost take on a hunch like shuffle when they walk, irrelevant of if they have backache or a simple head cold?. And what’s with carrying around a toilet roll under the arm for your dripping nose? Ok, I know that hankerchiefs are a bit old fashioned and really quite unhygenic when it comes down to it, but a toilet roll? Under your arm? Wherever you go? Really?
Have you also noticed how us women get colds, we get cramps, we get earache and we get headaches (through all of which we manage to battle on I hasten to add), but when men get sick it’s none of the above. Nope! It’s always flu! A little sniffle – flu! A headache – flu! Sore muscles – flu! It’s almost like their trump card, or rather, their ‘get out of doing even less than I normally do’ card. ‘I can’t make you a cup of tea honey. I am too weak. I have the flu’…’I can’t put the toilet seat down darling as my muscles are really so achy with the flu.’… ‘I just don’t have the strength to lift the lid off the laundry basket, what with having this terrible flu.’
And that’s the other thing…they don’t only tell you that they have flu once a day. They tell you A.HUNDRED.TIMES! So if the sniffling, pained expression, groaning, and deposits of snotty tissue all over the house weren’t enough alone to make you want to put them out of their misery, then an hour spent listening to them tell you how they’ have never been this sick before’ and ‘you have no idea how ill I am feeling’ may well.
Don’t get me wrong. It’s not that I am unsympathetic. I am….to a point. But I just can’t do with the amateur dramatics that seem to go along with a man being sick, along with the idea that the world needs to stop! I guess it does however once again prove why men don’t have babies! Could you imagine? The world really would come to a stop!